Too Much in a day!

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Missing in action yet I stand in the same spot
You are stronger than you think or have you forgot
I need time to process and save myself from myself
These decisions I’m making are not good for my health
It hurts to hurt do I really understand that
Those days of abstinence can never come back
Am I ready for change and to put in the work
Failure looms over my back and continues to lurk
How much can i take how far can i go
Too many things happing all at once
Surviving is questionable
As I take time to pray am i doing it right
I am talking to Jesus you can not, not do that right
I feel the pain in my chest and the pain in my leg
It’s all my fault and i punish me with a blade
Oh the blade the blade it’s what I love to hate
It brings me to my knees and gives my sanity a shake
Please stop this pain train because it won’t stop itself
You’ve been doing so good don’t be afraid to reach out for help
Peace and happiness, strive for that
And make sure you don’t put the weight of the world on your back
Come , it’s time to lay down your burdens
Just think of all the positive skills you are learning
Am I going to fight for life maybe so maybe not
The special time will come and then all you have to do is connect the dots
Negative thoughts will come and go
Negative behaviors, not easy, but can be controlled
I stopped the insanity more than once and I bet i can do it again
Focus, pray and work hard and maybe just maybe I can win
With faith low and despair high
Just try not to take it out on your thigh
Comfort may not come right away
It just important to take it day by day
It’s okay to cry when times get tough
This thing called life and be really rough
Even though I have a plan I can’t really say
But I will try to treat myself better each day

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